Everyone has a friend who knows not to run upstairs when they should be running out the front door.
I’m talking the horror movie fan in your life, who’s so similar to Randy Meeks from Scream or Marty Mikalski from Cabin in the Woods they’ll never, ever investigate a basement or deep, dark forest with you.
This is the friend who knows “the rules” — they will tell you not to pick up the phone, not to have sex (“sex equals death”), never drink or do drugs, and never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say "I'll be right back."
You won’t be back.
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